Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Program
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 Spring 2001, Table of Contents SAVI Announces 2001 Benefit Honorees When Jailing Batterers Won't Save Families It's An Outrage!!! Rape's Top 10 List Spotlight on Volunteers: Mary Napier The Inauguration of The Rape Crisis Training Institute Update from the SAVI Takanot Project Philip Morris Raises Awareness About Domestic Violence SAVI Announces 2001 Benefit Honorees
On Thursday, May 17, at the Eleventh Annual Benefit at the Roosevelt Hotel, SAVI will introduce Patricia Cornwell, best-selling crime novelist and founder of the Virginia Institute of Forensic Science and Medicine, as its Guest of Honor. Ms. Cornwell, author of eleven novels including Postmortem and, most recently, The Last Precinct, will be recognized for her commitment to women's issues and the advancement of forensic sciences.
A special honor will be given to Sister Mary Sarah Dolan, a research nurse at The Mount Sinai Hospital and a sexual assault survivor who has worked as a SAVI advocate for more than 10 years. SAVI will pay tribute to Sister Dolan for her personal strength, her dedication to SAVI, and her many years of service to the East Harlem Community.
SAVI will also honor Cheryl Berman, Chairman and Chief Creative Officer of Leo Burnett USA. Ms. Berman and Leo Burnett USA have helped to promote awareness about domestic violence through the Philip Morris Company's domestic violence advertising campaign (see below).
The Dinner Chair for this year's event will be Charles Hand, President of the New York Metro Region for Verizon Wireless. Verizon has been active in supporting the needs of domestic violence survivors by providing them with free cells phones so that they can easily access emergency services. Audrey Goldsmith Kubie and Cathy Weiss are co-chairing the SAVI Benefit Committee. When Jailing Batterers Won't Save Families She's a black woman who refuses to call the police when her husband hits her because she believes the legal system is racist. She's an upper-middle-class woman who likes her social status and believes her marriage is good except for the few times a year her husband drinks and slaps her around. So she tells the police and anyone who asks that things are O.K. She's a lesbian whose violent partner is an illegal immigrant. The courts are the last place she wants to go when things get bad between them, even in front of her partner's children. The stories come from lawyers, social workers, friends. There is no stereotypical "battered woman" or domestic violence victim. While feminists and others successfully agitated for decades to criminalize a syndrome that was once seen as purely a shameful personal problem, there is a growing public debate about how much the law can do to stop domestic violence and how effective the laws that exist have been. It's not merely an academic exercise. A 1994 New York State law that mandated arrests in some domestic violence cases is set to expire this July, and many want to review how well it has worked. At a recent conference on domestic violence at New York University, sponsored by the university and the Brooklyn District Attorney's office, some lawyers and social workers said that with domestic violence, the legal system is just a starting point. "There was a simple answer," Gerald Landsberg, the director of the Institute Against Violence at New York University's Shirley M. Ehrenkranz School of Social Work, said during a break. "You arrest the person and it's going to solve the problem. We're finding out it's not that simple. Women want to preserve the family, and that help is not available." A woman named Jean, whose husband is in prison for trying to kill her, said during a conference break that she spent 10 years trying to keep her family together because she believed that the violence was her fault. The only reason she helped prosecute her husband, she said, was that she found emotional as well as legal support at the Brooklyn District Attorney's office. Before she was a victim, she would have advised a friend in her situation to leave or hit the guy back. Then it happened to her, and she saw that it was not so easy. Perhaps that is why our eyes glaze over when we see those public service advertisements against domestic violence. Few will say they are for it. Each individual case is composed of conflicting parts of fear, hope and shame, making solutions more complicated than calling a telephone number or the police, except in the most egregious, clear-cut cases. And how often are things between intimate partners clear-cut? No one wants to return to the time when people were told to work it out, and jail was not an option. But Linda G. Mills, a researcher and professor at the N.Y.U. law school, emphasized that domestic violence should be looked at in the context of race, economic status and religious and cultural beliefs. Ms. Mills participated in the conference. Ms. Mills also said many of the old feminist shibboleths about passive victims with low self-esteem needed to be re-examined. "It's often women's strength that makes them stay," She said sometimes a man does love a woman he beats and can acknowledge that he has a problem. Sometimes, except for the beatings, the relationship is good. One continuing study of domestic violence homicides in Brooklyn found that of 17 "intimate partner" homicides in 1999, in only 3 cases had the batterer ever been arrested before. Lisa C. Smith, the Brooklyn Law School professor who conducted the study presented at the conference, said the legal system was perhaps not the first place to intervene to help domestic violence victims. "In a lot of the cases there was unreported, significant emotional abuse and harassment, and physical abuse that doesn't rise to the level of a crime," Ms. Smith said. She mentioned examples like a man who throws food on the floor or makes threats."We need even more outreach," Ms. Smith continued. "We need a quiet place where people can go to report this and to know there are many options. I don't think that message is out there." *Copyright © 2001 by The New York Times. Reprinted by permission. In February, the Israeli state television network aired a home video of a rape that was taped by the rapist himself, generating outrage from women's groups. According to The New York Times, the video displayed a Haifa man physically attacking his housecleaner. The woman's naked body was exposed to the camera, although her face was blacked out. The attackers face was not shown. The news anchor explained that the Israeli Broadcasting Authority's Channel One had obtained the clip as part of a videotape in which the attacker documented his raping and sodomizing of the woman. The man has been convicted of the rape and is awaiting sentencing in a Haifa court. The head of the Channel One news department defended the airing of the video by saying, "This is a document that should shock society, in order to protect women from the aggression of men. I hope the broadcast will lead to the suppression of this shocking phenomenon." Female politicians and women's advocacy groups felt differently and suggested that a ratings competition with the privately owned Channel Two network had motivated the producers of the Channel One news. They could not see the socially redefining value of broadcasting the tape and called it a "second rape" of the woman. What do you think? Send you comments to SAVI at One Gustave Levy Place, Box 1670, New York, NY 10029 or fax your feedback to 212-423-1021. It's An Outrage!!! Rape's Top 10 List Editors Note: SAVI is reprinting this article from the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR) winter newsletter in its entirety because we wish to raise awareness and express our outrage regarding the use of the Internet to promote sexual violence. The Internet is a powerful tool that should be used in a positive, responsible way. Enter the keyword "Rape" and within seconds a list of pornographic sites on the Internet pops up on the screen. With another click of the mouse, entry into a foreign and dangerous world is granted. It's a world of brutal assault, graphic images, violation, torture and, as the developers of these sites would lead visitors to believe, every woman's secret fantasy and every man's desire. Here's our top ten finds (note that SOAR was the only legitimate site on this list):
Of course, these sites come with "warning labels" as. . . "If you are less than 18 years of age, or live in a state where viewing adult images is against the law, please exit this site now. The creators of this website cannot be held responsible for your actions as you are choosing to receive this information. If you continue viewing this site, you accept responsibility for your own actions thus releasing the creators and our service provider from all liability." With disclaimers out of the way, visitors gain ready access into a disturbing world of pornography. It is a world of shocking images and violent erotica. A quick glance reveals explicit images. . . a vagina that has been safety pinned; a bound and gagged woman with needles in her nipples and blood dripping down her torso; the flame of a burning candle held to the delicate opening of a woman's vagina; a terrified woman gasping for air under the thick wrap of heavy cellophane. . . and other forms of sadistic violence and torture. Admittedly, many of these sites require an age certification process and/or fees before one can truly venture into the dark side. Yet, enticements in the form of teaser photographs and "inviting" language exist to lure even the most timid and leery. For those who are not 18 or interested in paying, the "adventure" does not end there. As a token of the site's appreciation, a profusion of free photographs are available for immediate download. (One site offered 300,000 "free pics" with categories inclusive of hardcore, teens, fetishes, animals, incest,. . . with a list that went on and on). Escape is next to impossible for a barrage of sexually explicit enticements and banner ads appear unsolicited with each and every click to exit. (Escape comes only at the hands of employing the command Ctrl + Alt + Delete.) Beyond the invasion of pornography that exists, the Internet offers an array of other dangerous enticements with the simple click of the mouse to include:
The Internet provides an escape into the dark side of life - one comprised of anonymous predators who lure even the most savvy of users. It's a place of lost innocence, covert manipulation and large-scale predation, which can lead to violence and, ultimately, taint lives forever. Consider this high profile story: Katie Tarbox was 13 years old and in the eighth grade when she met the "man of her dreams" in a teen chat room. The male, who identified himself as Mark, stated he was a 23-year old student attending a California university. They discovered through their online chats that they had many things in common - music, current events, and clothing. Mark conveyed to Katie that she was unlike other 13 year olds - he told her she was smart, sophisticated and mature. Gradually, their online relationship turned to telephone conversations. Mark remained true to his online personality. . . he was engaging and interested in Katie's world. In return Katie shared her innermost thoughts with Mark and he helped her to negotiate life's complexities and deal with the pressures of adolescence. In essence, he made her feel special. Six months later, Katie agreed to meet Mark at an upcoming swim meet in Dallas. Obtaining a room at the same hotel where Katie's swim team was staying, Mark - a 41 year old porn-obsessed child molester known to law enforcement officials as Francis Kufrovich - proceeded to molest Katie when she went to his room to meet him. Unfortunately, Katie's real life nightmare is not uncommon. In fact, it is reminiscent of news stories that are beginning to appear with alarming frequency throughout the nation. Take for example the recent cases of five males, ages 19-25, who lured a 12-year old girl they met in an online chat room to a private destination. The outcome of that meeting resulted in the sexual assault of this girl by each of the five males. Today, children and adolescents are online in record proportion. According to a recently released report entitled, "Online Victimization: A Report on the Nation's Youth," issued by the Crimes Against Children Research Center and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, one in five adolescents and teenagers (ages10-17) who regularly socialize on the Net have encountered a stranger who requested "cybersex." According to the report, "Large numbers of young people are encountering sexual solicitations they did not want, sexual materials they did not seek, and people who threatened and harassed them in a variety of ways. Specifically, findings from the 5,001 youths surveyed as part of this report revealed:
Other major findings and conclusions from this report indicate:
While the Internet holds both real and potential dangers for many, much needs to be said about its usefulness. Unquestionably, the Internet has revolutionized the way our society accesses and retrieves information, offering a legitimate form of education, communication, resources and entertainment. And with the best of intentions software programs have been used to filter and block access to sites that contain sexually explicit materials et al. However, the adverse impact of such precautions prohibits users from accessing sites that provide legitimate resources and support. Consider, for example, the teenage victim of a sexual assault who experiences the all too common feelings of isolation, blame and shame. The Internet could provide him or her with legitimate resources to enable critical help and support. . . yet such help is denied with the use of filters and blocks. What's the solution? Admittedly, the remedies are complex and no easy answers exist. To begin, we as parents, teachers and leaders, must arm our children, especially teens - and ourselves - with ammunition in the form of information and education. To facilitate these efforts, we can begin by:
To assist us in negotiating the complexities of the Internet and its potential abuses and positives uses, some excellent resources are: The Parents Guide to Protecting Children in Cyberspace by Parry Afrab, founder of Cyberangels, an organization dedicated to the safety of children on the Internet. This highly acclaimed book is essential reading for every parent who has a computer literate child as it provides critical information to assist parents in: (1) identifying dangerous areas online, (2) teaching them strategies to avoid hate, violence and sexual predators, (3) setting up practical rules for Internet behavior, and (4) implementing action steps when serious abuses occur. This excellent resource is available at bookstores everywhere. Online Victimization: A Report on the Nation's Youth, this report can be obtained online at http://www.missingkids.com or by calling 1-800-843-5678. Katie Tarabox's memoir, entitled Katie.com, is available at bookstores. Hailed as an articulate, compelling and brutally honest account of her experience, this insightful book also includes valuable information to assist others from becoming victims of online sexual predators. Katie also has a website that can be accessed at www.katiet.com. Spotlight on Volunteers: Mary Napier Imagine working over 3,000 hours in only seven years as a SAVI Advocate and troubleshooter. That's over 400 hours a year of committed dedication, according to the award given by the Mount Sinai Volunteer Services to Mary Napier, RN. Iona Siegel thinks 3,000 hours must be a record, and even Mary was surprised when she received the award. "But it does add up. For the last four years, I've been in the box as a troubleshooter for a month at a time. This means that if there is a problem - the hospital can't find another Advocate or the Advocate is having trouble with a case - I am called. Sometimes weeks go by with no calls, then there might be six in one night." Mary is also on call as an advocate on Friday nights - and has encountered every type of survivor - rape, incest, domestic violence, the young and the old, men, women and children. "I've even gone into labor and delivery units because pregnancy occasionally exacerbates domestic violence." Why does she do it? "I feel blessed. I haven't been raped and nobody is beating me up. So I think of it as a service to an underserved community. Some of the battered women, for example, don't have enough money to get out of their situations. So, often there isn't a lot you can do for them. But if the batterer has been arrested, as frequently happens now, there can be a window of opportunity. While the survivor feels relatively safe, you can suggest alternatives such as going to a shelter. They may act on these suggestions now, next month, or maybe never. If not, I wonder what it's going to be like for the children their mothers bring to the ER's with them. Is this what they are going to expect out of life?" Mary, a cheerful, confident woman, was born in Zimbabwe where she trained as a nurse and where she returns every year to see her father. After leaving her native country, she pursued her career in several other countries - South Africa, Belgium, and Scotland. While working in Great Britain, she answered an ad in 1990 for a year's nursing contract at Mount Sinai. Eleven years later she's still here. She works in the Ambulatory Cardiac Catheter Lab taking care of nine patients a day, a job that emphasizes patient education. To supplement this activity, she has submitted a proposal to Mount Sinai to set up a research program for guided imagery (mostly videos). The videos and other tools that would be included in the program would train patients how to take care of themselves and how to avoid stress. "If the project gets off the ground, it could be very beneficial. Cardiac patients can be quite fearful and I enjoy doing anything that will help them feel less anxious and more relaxed." Mary has a gift of making people feel relaxed, whether it's an interviewer like myself or a survivor. When a gay rape survivor asked for a male advocate and none were available, Mary, as usual, was summoned. She gave him the option of sending her away but then asked, "Why don't you just think of me as your mom?" The young man took her advice. In May, Mary will graduate from Pace College with a BS in Nursing and a minor in Women's Studies. Even in the classroom she finds herself discussing rape and domestic violence and inspiring trust. "It's natural in Women's Studies' courses to talk informally about such things as date rape. And after class, I've had people come up to me who wanted more information." Despite Mary's self-effacing attitude toward her job as an advocate, one still wonders what makes her do it year after year. When asked, she told me about a recent case she had. A bright, young woman had come to the ER after being raped by someone she met through the Internet. Mary assisted the survivor through the medical exam and advised her of her rights and options. The woman didn't want to report the rape to the police because she felt dumb and ashamed. Mary pointed out that the man was probably back on the web at that very moment making a date with his next victim. That convinced the survivor to call the police, even though she believed talking to the police would only prolong her ordeal. The next day when the survivor spoke to Ana Ferrer, the Manhattan Emergency Department Program Coordinator, she said: "The best thing that came out of the whole horrible mess was Mary." According to Mary, "This was the best compliment I ever received." Mike came to the SAVI Program six months after he heard that his 12-year-old daughter had been sexually abused by his cousin. His first reactions to the news were shock and disbelief. He could not understand how a member of his family could sexually abuse a child, let alone a close relative. Mike struggled with the news and fortunately took the right steps by believing and supporting his daughter who was receiving treatment at The Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center. Still, Mike was very depressed and anxious, had difficulty sleeping and was experiencing nightmares. He blamed himself for what happened and constantly wondered what he could have done differently to protect his little girl. In addition to these worries, when he had his cousin arrested, some family members did not agree with his decision to press charges against "one of their own." Their recriminations and lack of support left him feeling isolated. The criminal case proceedings along with anxiety about the outcome of the case and how it would affect his child intensified his fears. He also worried about his job; in order to tend to his daughter's medical, legal, education and psychological needs he was forced to stop working for a while. Mike is an example of a co-survivor; i.e. family members and friends of sexual assault/abuse survivors who experience some of the same symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as the survivor. Fortunately for him, after attending bi-weekly counseling sessions at SAVI for over a year, he was able to address and explore a lot of the feelings he was experiencing. He gained a better understanding of what his daughter was going through, making it easier for him to provide her with the assistance she needed. Van der Kolk Speaks on Trauma Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD, one of the most noted theorists in the field of trauma and its treatment, spoke at two October workshops: "Psychobiology of Post Traumatic Stress and Trauma and Memory" and "The Effects of Trauma on Self and Frontiers of Trauma Treatment." The workshops were part of Albany County Rape Crisis Center's 17th annual conference entitled "Mouse Trap - Caught in the Web: The Sexual Victimization of Children and Adults Online and Off." The conference was co-sponsored by the Department of Justice, U.S. Attorney's Office, Northern District of New York. Dr. van der Kolk's work integrates developmental, biological, psychodynamic and interpersonal aspects of trauma and its treatment. According to him, to understand trauma and its impact, it is necessary to first understand how people process information and memory. The mind processes information by transforming what is sensed into an image that is related to one's past experience. The personal experience is then translated into communicable language. When processing memories, the mind stores mainly the quality of experience and feelings associated to a specific event, not the event itself. The fundamental function of memory is to create connections, i.e. to absorb and integrate new information. With the passage of time, memories tends to become inaccurate because they are constantly combining with new pieces of information. In patients with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), some memories, the traumatic ones, seem to become fixed and remain unaltered in the mind. They seem to be indelible - they are not modified over time. Thus, the patient re-enacts the traumatic memory as a contemporary experience. When the memory is triggered, some specific areas of the brain are activated and the reaction is as intense as during the traumatic experience. Furthermore, the patient seems to be unable to translate the experience and communicate it, thereby increasing their feelings of isolation and emotional distress. In order to treat PTSD, the therapist needs to help the patient decondition the traumatic memories, and support them in developing a sense of mastery and competence. This allows the individual to live in the present without experiencing the present as a recurrence of the past. I was very impressed with the way the conference showcased the important contribution of Dr. van der Kolk's work in the area of post traumatic stress and related phenomena. He has been widely published. He most recently edited "Traumatic stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experiences on Mind, Body, and Society." Dear Iona, Right now I am in Vermont where I have had the opportunity to work on some very interesting projects with an organization that works with all the community mental health centers in the state on program planning, advocacy and funding strategies. Vermont is 180 degrees removed from the culture and pace of New York City, but crimes of domestic violence, abuse and rape present themselves here with regrettable frequency. We are working on a Trauma Commission that will make recommendations to the legislature on comprehensive approaches to these issues. One of the major issues is the delivery of services to those who have survived trauma, and I often find myself thinking of my training and work in your program.I am very grateful for the experience. Warm Regards, The Inauguration of The Rape Crisis Training Institute On February 12th and 13th, the New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA) and the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault co-sponsored the first of a six-part training series in the newly established 2001 Rape Crisis Training Institute. The institute was established to provide the staff of rape crisis programs in New York State with a more diverse educational training experience. Over the next several months, the institute will travel throughout the state offering conference attendees the opportunity to attend workshops facilitated by their colleagues from the various rape crisisprograms. The first conference was entitled "Student to Student Sexual Harassment: The Flirting or Hurting Curriculum." The author of the curriculum, Dr. Nan Stein was the keynote speaker of the conference. Dr. Stein is a senior research scientist at the Center for Research on Women at Wellesley College and has published extensively on her work with students and school administrators. See the Fall 2001 issue of the SAVI Advocate for more information on "Flirting or Hurting." SAVI staff members, Amy Weinstein and Rita Abadi were participants on a panel and led two workshops on the cultural issues that arise when providing services within the Latina and Orthodox Jewish communities. Update from the SAVI Takanot Project SAVI's latest outreach efforts have been within major Orthodox Jewish umbrella organizations. SAVI Takanot has joined with the Orthodox Union (OU) and Chesednet.com to provide web links to the SAVI web site and information about available services and referrals. Among the services currently posted is a support group that is now forming to specifically address the needs of Orthodox survivors who were sexually harassed or abused in their youth. SAVI Takanot is pleased at the efforts that the OU has taken to facilitate identification and referral of survivors in need of support services. In addition, SAVI Takanot conducted a presentation on March 11th, for various agencies and service providers with whom we have developed into a network of colleagues. The presentation focused on how to properly handle disclosures and how to offer survivors supportive yet non-intrusive help and information about available support services. You can read more about the SAVI Takanot project here. Philip Morris Raises Awareness About Domestic Violence Philip Morris gets the message out about domestic violence. In addition to publicizing the crime through the company's national advertising campaign in major magazines and newspapers, the company also ran a high-profile television advertisement, prepared with guidance from domestic violence experts. Each time the commercial aired, the volume of calls to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) would rise dramatically. That meant that more women - often women who never even knew that help was available - were able to reach out for needed support and assistance. Since 1996, Philip Morris has joined with the Domestic Violence Council of the New York Women's Agenda to co-sponsor annual Corporate Conferences on Domestic Violence, focused on increasing awareness about domestic violence in the workplace. The company helped found the New York City coalition, Safe@Work, which brings together businesses, government and non-profit organizations to raise awareness and provide education and resources to companies about domestic violence. Philip Morris also supplements community outreach with corporate contributions through its Doors of Hope grant initiative. Philip Morris has become a leading force in getting the message out about domestic violence. The company's leadership recognizes that while addressing the issue of domestic violence in the workplace is the socially responsible thing to do, it is also in a company's best business interest. Some experts estimate that one million Americans fail to report to work each day because of injuries sustained in family disputes. The Bureau of National Affairs reports that incidents of domestic violence cost American companies between $3 and $5 billion a year in medical expenses and creates additional expenses associated with heightened safety measures. Thus, a domestic problem often becomes a corporate problem. SAVI salutes Philip Morris for realizing this and doing something about it. For more information about the Philip Morris Campaign Against Domestic Violence, visit www.philipmorris.com/pmcares. |
