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A feeling of anger is also a common reaction to
trauma. The anger is mostly directed at the assailant for
causing you physical injury, for violating you, for abusing
you, or for stealing something of yours. But feelings of anger
may be also stirred up in the presence of people who remind
you of the assailant or even strangers.
Sometimes you may find that you are so angry that
you want to hit someone or swear; and if you are not used
to feeling angry you may not recognize or know how to handle
these angry feelings.
Many people also direct the anger towards themselves for
something that they did or did not do during the trauma. These
feelings of anger directed at the self may lead to feelings
of blame, guilt, helplessness, and depression.
Many people also find that they are experiencing anger
and irritability towards those people whom they love the most:
family, friends, their partners, and their children.
Sometimes you might lose your temper with the people
who are most dear to you. This may be confusing since you
may not understand why you are most angry and irritable with
those you care about most. While closeness with others may
feel good, it also increases the opportunity for feelings
of intimacy, dependency, and vulnerability and helplessness.
Having those feelings may make you feel angry and irritable
because they remind you of the trauma.
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Self-image can also suffer as a result of a trauma.
You may tell yourself, "I am a bad person and bad things happen
to me," or "If I had not been so weak or stupid, this would
not have happened to me, or "I should have been tougher."
- People who are traumatized can develop negative thoughts
about other people and life events. For many people the safe
and rewarding world with which they have been familiar suddenly
becomes a very dangerous place. They may feel that they cannot
trust anyone. You may feel this way yourself. Or if you
have had previous negative experiences and thoughts about
the world, the trauma may confirm your notion that the "world
is a dangerous place" and "no one can be trusted."
We often hear people tell us that the trauma has changed
them completely. They say "before the trauma I was not afraid
of anything. I could cope with any kind of stress no matter
how difficult the situation was, and get along with others.
And now I am afraid of my shadow and I cannot cope even with
minor problems."
Some people tell us "the trauma was the last straw"; "I
knew I always felt that I could not trust myself"; or "I am
the kind of person that cannot handle even slight difficulties."
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Finally, as a result of this recent trauma, you may be
reminded of your past experiences. Negative memories
may be stirred up as a result of a recent trauma, and it may
be difficult for you to think of any other situations or experiences
that are not negative. In fact, it may be very difficult to
believe that you will ever feel happy again or have pleasant
experiences, but you will. It is important for you to know
that our memories are associated because of the way our minds
organize information.
You may also suddenly recall memories that you had forgotten.
These new memories may be as disturbing to you as the memory
of your recent trauma. But it is possible to put these negative
experiences behind you.
Some of these common reactions to a trauma are connected
with each other. For some people, having a flashback may increase
their concern about losing control of their lives and may
even intensity their fears. In other words, the responses
to being traumatized often interact with one another and cause
the overall response to be more intense. Of all these normal
reactions to trauma, fear is probably the most common and
appears to be the most debilitating. In this program, we are
going to focus on the fears and negative thoughts that you
are having and that are directly related to your trauma.
