hen a friend or loved one suffers a trauma
from a disaster, the range of feelings they experience is similar to the
emotions of the loved one. Some of these feelings include sadness, anger,
guilt, and confusion. People often want to help, but feel helpless and
confused in the face of pain. Some of the common reactions of the friends
and loved ones of survivors can be:
Feeling helpless and not knowing what to do.
Feeling frustrated because can't think of how to help.
Feeling angry with thoughts of revenge.
What should friends/loved ones do?
Be there for the survivor. Often, people feel a need to "problem
solve" or offer advice. But physical presence and support are ususally
more valuable.
Educate yourself about trauma and the healing process.
Listen and allow the survivor(s) to talk about the traumatic experience
at their own pace.
Believe the survivor and validate his or her feelings and reactions.
It does not help to minimize what the survivor has been thorough.
Do not question or judge what he or she did to survive.
Friends can share their feelings honestly and openly and reassure
the survivor of their love and concern.
Do not focus solely on the event. Take a break from it. Allow time
for mutual relaxation and pleasant activities.
Broaden the social support network. This support may come from other
friends, support groups, religious institutions etc.
Return control. Respect the time and space it takes to heal. Be patient.
By allowing survivors to make decisions, friends can help return control
to them.
hen a friend or loved one suffers a trauma
from a disaster, the range of feelings they experience is similar to the
emotions of the loved one. Some of these feelings include sadness, anger,
guilt, and confusion. People often want to help, but feel helpless and
confused in the face of pain. Some of the common reactions of the friends
and loved ones of survivors can be: